sup ding-dongs

Saturday, June 20, 2020



Here's to another week wasted doing nothing really productive. There's this one task I've been putting away for about 2 weeks now and I still haven't got the motivation to start. I've been yapping about plans I have for this in my head, but truth be told, I haven't really gotten around finding the right template for my blog.

Why am I writing when I'm supposed to be sleeping now? I have work later at 6AM. Well, I took a nap earlier for I-do-not-know how long, kept myself a little busy, took a shower, coffee, then boom. Gising na gising. Honestly, I don't have anything in mind to post. I'm just bored. And a little pissed CHAR. 

Hmm, what else. Oh right.

Whenever I play Mobile Legends I always tell myself not to give a fvck every time I lose because it's just a game. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. specially when I'm on a losing streak. There's only so much failure I can handle and losing 3 to 5x in a row kills my zen yknow?! So this game had eaten up pretty much of my entire quarantine-life without actually reaching Mythic. Annoying right? End na ng season oh amf.

Anyway, I'm currently listening to Gare du Nord by Claire Laffut while writing this. I think I heard this song from one of the movies I've seen on Netflix ~ fvck. Di ko ma-google. AHAHAHA

30 minutes later..

Yknow what, ever since I got stuck in the house, I came to notice that social media is boring. Yup, I sometimes scroll here and there, like and heart posts yada yada ~ but aside from the news, nothing is really worth the whole day of scrolling. I dunno how some people do it, but God, there's so much more important thing to do than watch annoying and pa-peymus vids on FB and on other social media platforms. I'm thinking about looking for another job that's why I still keep my FB active, pero pag ako nainis na naman, I might deactivate it again just so I won't waste time scrolling. And lately, people have gone crazy about this FaceApp. Like kada scroll ko mga fes ng mga boy turned into girl and vice versa ang nakikita ko. Nakakainis na din hah. Tama na. HAHAHA.

Why am I planning to look for a part-time job? Now that we're experiencing this pandemic, it's actually the best time to save kasi walang transpo and bawal lumabas ~ but nope. And I totally understand that. Nakaka stress lang sometimes. So I hope maging okay lahat in the coming days. I have unsubscribed from my online subscriptions like Spotify and Netflix. Wala naman sila naitutulong sa boredom ko kung tutuusin. I reckon to use my energy na muna in improving my finance. Even online deliveries. Stop na muna. So help me God. 

I'm doing IF again. I felt like I've been eating a bunch of carbs since the quarantine started so need to shed them fats. Baka mawala na naman collarbones. Don't ask me to exercise cuz I always get sick whenever I do it. Fasting na muna.

IF daw pero nag-beer nung isang araw 🙊

BTW, I'm turning 30yo eleven days from now. Frustrating cuz end of the month is when we pay most of the bills LOL. I'm a no-frills type of girl but yearly, I always hope that someone will send me a birthday cake with my name on it. Wala lang. No one has ever done that - except my sister pero "TOL" nakalagay, amf. Even sa work wala pero lagi naman ako nag aambag pag may gusto sila i-surprise, bakit ganon? 😂

Annnnnnnd .. di pa din ako inaantok. Good luck sakin later :D 

on quarantine thoughts

Saturday, June 13, 2020



Posting this in mid-June, and it has been more than 2 months since quarantine started. My notes and things to do have been piling up (and so has anxiety). You might think time will make things easier, but it has not. And it might not. To be honest, I don't even know what to expect when things go back to normal - most likely, there is no normal to go back to. This is not just another glitch in the time frame, not a reset, nor a break. Yet we still look forward to the day when it all ends. Because it's one of the things we can do and hope for to stay sane. 

I'm extremely lucky with the privilege I have - having a home to stay at, food on our table, and a work-from-home option. Yet even with all the help I can give, there's only so much my privilege can do for others who do not have the same luck. For them, uncertainty is scarier than it is beautiful. 

Uncertain times call for uncertain emotions. You can stay pressed and be mad and sad and unmotivated, and even then, hopeful. You can demand accountability! The mass of all your emotions is valid in these trying times, you too, are also trying to get through it. 

It's hard to stay positive, but for now, hold on to the better days we long for. Even if just to convince ourselves that it exists. That maybe if we say it enough, it'll happen. And maybe it could add something good, even if just a little, in a not-so-good world. 

When all of this is over, know it isn't the end. 

PS: to you who are reading this, I hope you're doing well where you are. Aside from staying home. I hope you find ways to stay sane through it all. 
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